Mr. Bijoy Writes

Elephants are my favorite animal. I can delve into why I love them so much, but I don’t want to bore you with anecdotes from my childhood and other such things. So, if you didn’t know, I collect elephant figurines and the sort. Yesterday, I was on a walk and I went in to see my friend Hope at her store. She knows about my fascination with pachyderms and pointed out a new shipment of small pewter animals on a shelf. Among these animals was a small elephant. I asked her to name this small elephant, and she named him Robert. I just wanted to take this opportunity to introduce him. So here's a picture of him hanging out with some watermelon.

Gin. Some people love it, others do not. I'm a weird minority that just has to be in the mood for it to drink it. That mood doesn't grace my mind often, though. Regardless, here's a cool gin-based recipe that is just fun to drink. Ladies and gents, the Aviation- What ya need: 1 ounce fresh lemon juice 2 ounces gin 1/2 ounce maraschino liqueur 1/4 teaspoon simple syrup 1 cup ice cubes Ok, so- In a cocktail shaker, combine the lemon juice, gin, maraschino liqueur, and simple syrup. Throw in the ice and shake for about 20 seconds. Strain into an old fashioned glass or a coupe glass and enjoy! Some people garnish this with a cherry, but I could care less.

People used to drink. Take that how you will. I think that the art of the cocktail has gone to the way of the drunk girl, who thinks she can pull of pearls as well as Audrey Hepburn (hint: NO ONE pulls off pearls that well, you dumb whore), who orders a well vodka with cranberry and calls it classy. Sit the fuck down. Ok, I'm sorry for that. So here's the deal. About 90 years ago, someone thought up the Negroni. Drink this. Enjoy this. Smile. What ya need: 1.5 oz Campari 1.5 oz gin 1.5 oz sweet vermouth a sliver of orange peel Ok, so: Fill a glass with ice. Put all the ingredients in said glass. Stir together, gently. Boom, you're done. Let's all have a drink.

Ok, I'm just going to go ahead and vent here for a second. Get that sweet, colorful, absurd fruit out of your daiquiri. It's not supposed to be there. Stop it. For your drinking pleasure, here's how you make a real daiquiri. Ready? Ok. What ya need: 2 ounces of white rum (I prefer Bacardi Superior) 3/4 ounce of fresh squeezed lime juice (if you use Rose's lime or something like it, go read a book) 1 teaspoon of superfine (confectioner's) sugar Ok, so: Stir together lime juice and sugar. When well incorporated, add rum, fill with ice, and shake vigorously for about 15 seconds. Strain into a glass. Drink. Smile.